Monday, September 22, 2008

On Second Thought,

Mac asked me to set the record straight.

The last post describing Mac's mousecapades made it sound like Mac was a stereotypical Vicious Pit Bull Killing Machine. Mac correctly points out that the evidence is against him.

1. The flies: Mac chases flies whenever he gets the chance. Approximately one time for every 50 does the fly actually enter his mouth. And when it does, he actually lets it go, and the fly, without fail, flies away. (No pun intended- Mac is dictating, themacinator apologizes for lack of stylish prose.) Mac reminds me that I have always been fascinated with catch and release fishing, and perhaps his actions are just a different form- "catch and release flying", as it were. Once in a blue moon, a fly will die due to the activities of Mac, but never in Mac's mouth. One could blame exhaustion, sogginess (spit kills!), or a broken leg- Mac never claimed to be gentle- but definitely not "the chomp of death".

2. The mouse: The mouse was found under the bed, in the corner, almost 24 hours after the chase began. Mac could not access the mouse, as his head and shoulders are too big to fit under the bed. Trust me, he tried, he says. And tried, and tried, and tried again. Upon retrieval of the mouse, by themacinator, the mouse was found to be bloodless, and intact. Again, the mouse may have died due to the activities of Mac, but did not die due to direct mouth-to-mouse contact. Mac suggests heart attack, exhaustion (wus!), old age, or broken something-or-other. Once again, killer pit bull not at fault. (Mice are not supposed to be game animals, themacinator reminds Mac. That's his job.)

So Mac's record is clean, he hopes. He is not a zookeeper, and cannot stretch the longevity of the animals who happen into his care. He also cannot vouch for their health prior to his arrival on the scene. He apologizes for any misconceptions about him, but wants you to know that a dog this dorky could not possibly be deadly:



Sarah said...

The one time Sunny killed a mouse, I'm pretty sure it drowned in her slobber. It didn't have a mark on it, but was sopping wet.

Anonymous said...

This may be mouse #2...remember the teeny thing at the beach house! Mac may be a real pit after all!!!