Friday, October 17, 2008

Macscapades, or, Mac is Available for Adoption

Mac has a hard head. About two or three years ago, he broke my nose. Through no fault of his own, his hard head hit my soft nose, and well, as my dad says, "whether the rock hits the pitcher or the pitcher hits the rock, it's going to be bad for the pitcher." As my sister pointed out, it's thoroughly possible that in breaking my nose with his hardasrocks head, Mac just may have straightened my nose.

Anyway, Mac's head struck again last night. Literally.

Mac does not like cats. When he sees one, he turns into The Hulk. Normally, he is a very quiet dog- rarely barks, never whines, etc. But cats bring out his inner voice. He turns into this loud roaring barking machine, which pretty much guarantees he'll never catch a cat, since they can hear him coming from a mile away. Last night, we were sitting in my car by my house, not moving, I was on the phone, and lo-and-behold, a cat dared to cross the path. Mac did his usual routine, but through in an added twist. He jumped front feet on the dashboard (he's done this before) but his hardasrocks head hit the windshield. And the windshield cracked. Seriously. This was, of course, the end of my phone conversation. This was not a tiny little slice. Nor was it something I could fix myself. No, this is a $250 window demolition. Thank you, Mac. (Of course Mac did not even seem to notice that his noggin hurt.)

I am offering Mac for free. He comes with toys, outfits, a month of meat, a freezer, treats, a clicker, and some training. He is neutered, chipped, probably semi-UTD on shots. And he has a really hard head. You could probably use it for some kind of log splitting or other backbreaking competition. Car not included.

Pictorial proof:



(no mac isn't REALLY available for adoption. i just... say that)


Alexis said...

Wow! That is impressive. Mac punches his head through glass, Ernie chews his way through... we could offer them as a set.

Mick O said...

I was gonna adopt mac. You tease!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh please, this is NOTHING. Twenty-some years ago I had a German Shorthair that WRECKED MY CAR. Dead serious. The goon did over $3,000 damage (in 1985 dollars) to a used Subaru - and put a ding in the bumper of a Suburban.

Hard heads or not, DOGS SHOULD NOT DRIVE!

Monte's Mom said...

As the person on the other end of the phone, who heard this event go down, I can attest to the factual description of the author.

I heard...

"blablabla..bla" {That's us talking.}

"bark, bark, bark" {Translation: Mac says "I'm gonna get you Sucka!"}


"OMG, I have to go. Mac just broke the windscreen."


I'm left giggling...Not an other Mack-i-Doodle story?


Poor Macinator.

Marie said...

Wow. Good to know that is possible! I can now warn future clients with reactive dogs in the car. I wonder if it gave him a headache at all?

themacinator said...

hey marie (not monte's mom),
it is definitely possible. and no, no headache noticed. i love my dog, but he has no nerve endings.
we were lucky we weren't moving, although when he spots a cat and we're moving, he doesn't have time to get anywhere near the windshield. i would tell your clients to get a doggy seatbelt, and put the dogs in the backseat, which is much safer, and which i should do, since i really DO know better.
in my defense, and mac's defense, he has notorious prey drive (imo) and he generally is under REALLY good control. he has never caught anything and (if we continue on this streak) will never catch anything. this is not for wont of trying, but due to training, management, and a paranoid mom. (mostly the last two.) i know my dog, and what he is capable of. sometimes, i just forget his head is made of bricks!