I don't even play one on TV.
The official un-diagnosis for Mac is "allergic reaction to something." An unknown something. I'm not satisfied with this answer, but it seems to be what we've settled with now. T came to the vet with me and Mac yesterday morning. Everything, and I mean everything, on Mac's blood test and urine test came back normal. Mac had a slightly abnormal thyroid result from the initial blood test, along with a normal one, so they re-ran it. And the retest came out exactly normal, which ruled out thyroid problems. The urine test was normal, even with the extra test for Cushing's. Mac's glands had been huge, which gave T and me the horrifically scary thought of Lymphoma, but by yesterday, they were back down, basically ruling that out. His good ear itched so much that he thrashed away when the vet stuck the ear-looky-in thingy, and she couldn't really examine it, but she said what she could see looked fine. So now we have teeth that are unexaminable and and an ear that is unexaminable. I am starting to feel like the owner of a "normal" dog owner- the kind of dog onwer who has trouble trimming her dogs' nails, or has to muzzle her dog at the vet. Mac is a lot of things, but intolerant of the vet is not one of them.
But apparently I've got an allergic dog with symptoms that don't seem allergic to me, who is hard to examine. It's strange, and unsettling. The good news is that I don't have a dog with cancer, or a dog with thyroid problems, or a dog with Cushing's. Or at least I think I don't.