I barely posted about Rollie here because I quit the internet for a large part of his life with me, and then when I was here, mostly wrote my book reports. When I adopted him, I was looking for a dog. Just a dog. I loved Mac SO much that I couldn't imagine having a dog that was really special to me. I wanted something very specific: a small, male, stable pit bull. Those were pretty much my only criteria.
I went to just about every shelter in the Bay Area. I was still doing animals (though not for much longer), and had an idea of what I'd find and where I'd find it. I spent some time online before I went shelter-hopping and just didn't see anything I wanted. My last stop was Berkeley Animal Care Services (BACS), the same shelter I got Mac from. They hadn't yet moved to their new shelter. Rollie was in almost the same cage Mac had been in 10 years before. I almost didn't pull him out of the cage. He's broken, T said. He's a puppy, I said. He demand barks, we both said. We pulled him out anyway.

When I took him out of the shelter, he hopped in R's car and fell asleep. I felt like, but never knew, that this dog was someone's dog before- someone's well-loved and well-trained dog. He never tried to do anything inappropriate. There was no transition period- he didn't shit in the house, he pulled a little, but not a lot, on the leash, and he was totally appropriate with everyone. He LOVED kids- his tail wagged whenever they came near and he seemed to know just to stand there and not do anything so they could do their thing at their speed. He was gentle with everything- even his toys (that first gumming of toys was a harbinger of things to come). He was the anti-Mac.
I didn't like him much, and that was okay. My dad suggested (okay, said), that he didn't have any personality. I was a little miffed, but honestly, I didn't care if he had any personality or not. Mac had So Much personality and had been a full time job. I let other people walk Rollie. I left him alone overnight. I went on vacations and trusted people with Rollie- I breathed when other dogs walked by- he was the easiest dog ever. And slowly I fell in love with him and couldn't imagine not having him.
He was the Prince of my neighborhood. C and I were a bit sloppy about closing the gate- I became a normal pet owner- because dude was blind and didn't seem to know there WAS a gate. One time the Radio Shak on the corner found him. Another time someone at Safeway called because he was literally shopping for groceries. Don't worry, we fixed the latch and started closing the gate. I took him everywhere and- gasp- tied him up outside. He went to the library, Peet's and every day, 7-11. When he eventually had a dog walker, they took him to the vet (on our corner) every single day for treats. I asked the vet if this was really okay, because it seemed kind of disruptive, but the staff insisted they loved it. He carried toys on his walk- the more realistic ones made people gasp, but people would laugh at the teddy bear and the alligator that he always carried by the butt and dragged on the ground, or the tennis ball that went in the side of his mouth and that C named his "'baccy" like a wad of chew.
Besides kids, Rollie loved dogs. Everyone and their mother thinks their dog wants another dog. While I was still in animal welfare, I did my best to disabuse them of this notion. Dogs don't keep other dogs busy and entertained, and most of the time, the dog just wants you. Rollie is literally the first dog I've ever seen that actually turned into an (even) happier dog around other dogs.
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Rollie scared a lot of people and dogs, because he was LOUD. He had a lot to say. He barked when he was happy. He barked when he wanted a dog to find him and play with him. He barked when he was playing. He barked when he wanted to talk to the closet or the TV (even if it was off). He just barked. And he had a loud bark. He did sometimes bark out of reactivity, but mostly he was just yelling out of joy. But try to tell someone that your pit bull with the weird eyes is barking because he's happy. It doesn't always go so well. Here is proof that the barking was benign. This is my dog barking in the closet because who doesn't bark at the closet?
And this is my dog play-bowing and barking at maybe his bone or maybe nothing, because that's just what he did. Tell me this dog didn't have personality. I ended up teaching him that I wouldn't open the door until he stuck his head in a basket of tennis balls and picked one up, thus muffling the bark.
When I got home from my last trip to Hawaii, a little less than two full weeks ago, I noticed a lump behind his back knee. I know dog lumps. It wasn't a good lump. I felt his other back knee and didn't feel anything. I had been noticing him panting for a couple months on and off, and sometimes a distended belly, but hadn't really thought much of it. His eyes had gone from his normal glowy green to kind of cloudy. I'll never really know if any of that was symptoms, but I suspect the panting was. The vet felt his neck and felt what I missed- all of his glands were giant hard rocks. He had lymphoma. It's a weird disease- it isn't painful really, but it makes them tired. He was so tired, and slow. He was always slow- we called him USS Rollie, because watching him try to change directions was like watching a steamship change course. But this was different. The joy was gone in Mudville. He had a great day after we started the Prednisone, and a couple of great hours each day. But really, the life was sucked out of him very quickly.
I might share some other anecdotes and pictures another time- there are lots and I don't think I've gotten his story just right. The night before I put him down, we got skunked, in my house. I don't know how it happened. But it reminded me of when Rollie really got skunked. Sometimes he would charge out of my house at night after some animal. 99.99% of the time the animal would just stand there- my urban zoo all knows that Rollie would run in the wrong direction. I've seen cats stand 5 feet away and watch him pee while he looks "at" them. Birds didn't fly away when he sunbathed. He literally had no idea where they were. But this skunk stood his ground and sprayed him in the mouth. It was awful. My house and my dog smelled for 6 months. But I brought him into the bathtub and scrubbed him with some god-awful concoction. The dog fell asleep with his head in my hand while I rubbed and scrubbed and rinsed. It wasn't that he liked being bathed, it was just that he was an easy-going, trusting soul. Do what you want with me, lady, I gotcha.
People always told me (and keep telling me now that he's dead) that I gave him a great life- that I saved him- who would want a blind pit bull? But they're wrong. Rollie wasn't going to get put down. He was at one of the most pit bull-friendly shelters in the country. He was only partially blind then, as whatever was going on with his eyes was degenerative. He looked like a puppy, but had the maturity of an adult. He was perfect. He would have made any family the best pet ever.
I will miss you, Rollie. You snuck into my heart, and pretty much, the hearts of everyone who was close to you. Thank you for being the best little buddy a girl could hope for. There is another bucket of tennis balls waiting for you when we meet again.
3 comments:
Mutual adoration!! And, during his time with you he got to see the A's make the playoffs....oh, and finish last (a lot). He's gonna be missed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, GK, I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing this sweet spirit with us! That vid of him gumming at you... what a sport. I'm so glad you found each other. Big hugs to you. xoxo, Lilith
So sorry to hear about Rollie's passing. I always thought he was a wonderful dog, if a bit goofy at times.
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